If Ed and Al Were Two Inches Tall
by cletluvsfullmetal
Summary: What if Ed and Al were turned two inches tall by Michael Jackson? Rated for launguage, as usual.


**I'M BORED! So… I'm going write a random one-shot again! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any other companies or celebrities ****mentioned in this story.**

One day Ed and Al Elric were sitting in their room in the Rockbell house, reading some Alchemy books.

"So Al, you know when your at Burger King… and when you go in for just a coffee or something in the morning so your really tired and pissed off and you need caffeine, and they still ask you if you want apple pie with that even though they know your pissed off, and you feel the need to punch them in the-" Ed started, but suddenly Michael Jackson appeared out of nowhere and chibi-itized them! (**A/N: When I say chibi-itized I mean made them like two inches tall.**)

"Cause it's a thriller, thriller night! Hee, hee!" He sang quickly before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

"AHHH! MICHAEL JACKSON! NOOO! And I'm two inches tall! " Ed cried in a high-pitched voice, with his hands on the sides of his head.

"It's not much of a difference…" Al muttered in an equally high voice.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Ed screamed.

"Nothing, nothing," Al said quickly, waving his hands dismissively.

"ED! Did you take my lip stick again?" Winry asked angrily, walking into the room. Then she looked down, way down, at Ed and Al. "AHH! Al, you shrunk!" Winry screamed, pointing at the chibi Al.

"Hey! I shrunk, too!" Ed yelled at Winry.

"Really? I didn't notice," Winry said, squinting at Ed to try and see a difference.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" Ed screamed at Winry in a chibi voice.

"Nothing, nothing," Winry said, waving her hands dismissively just like Al. "What happened to you guys?" she asked, sitting on the floor so she could hear them better.

"That bastard Michael Jackson made us this way!" Ed said angrily.

"Michael Jackson? I love Michael Jackson!" Winry said with sparkled in her eyes.

Ed and Al stared at her confused, eyes twitching. "Right… well we have to find him and get him to change us back!" Ed said.

And suddenly, Michael Jackson appeared… again! "You'll change back in five hours! Hee, hee!" he sang.

"Oh my god! Mr. Jackson, can I have your auto-" Winry started to say taking out paper and a pen, but Michael Jackson disappeared again.

"No!" Winry yelled, falling to her knees and crying.

"Five hours? Yippee! I get to be tiny!" Al said joyfully.

"Damn! I don't want to be this small!" Ed said, scuffing his foot on the ground.

"Well I guess your just going to have to deal with it somehow," Winry shrugged.

Nobody talked for a few seconds, until a very small grumble broke the silence "Hehe, I'm hungry," Ed said, rubbing his stomache and grinning.

"I can pick you up and take you downstairs to get some food if you want," Winry said, holding out her palm.

"Psh, I don't need you to help me get down the stairs, I'm not two," Ed said smugly, crossing his arms and strutting passed Winry's hand.

"You're not two years old, but you are two inches tall. It's going to be slightly hard for you to get down the stairs," Winry stated, putting her hands on her hips. Ed just shrugged and headed for the stairs.

"Will you take me downstairs, Winry?" Al asked.

"Sure," Winry picked Al's tiny metal body up and followed Ed to the stairs. Ed sat on the first step of the stairs, slowly sliding himself down onto the lower step, muttering about not being a baby. While he was still making his way down the first step, Winry and Al swept passed him and were down the stairs in about five seconds.

Winry placed Al on the ground, and he raised his arms in the air yelling in his now chibi voice, "Weee! I'm tiny!" and running off somewhere.

Winry looked back up at Ed, who was on the second step, and tapped her foot. After about ten minutes of waiting, and by now he was only on the fourth step, Winry sighed, sat down, and read a book.

About an hour later, Ed finally reached the bottom of the stairs. "Whew," he said with his hands on his knees. "S-see? I told… told you I could… do it," he panted, and then stuck out his tongue at Winry.

Winry grabbed her wrench to throw at Ed, but then realizing with him so small and with such a big wrench, she could actually kill him, she opened a drawer and grabbed a very tiny wrench and threw it at Ed. The wrench hit him right in the head, and he fell over.

"Ack!" Ed said, rubbing his bumps. Winry grabbed him against his will and took him to the table. "Ahh! Put me down, bitch!"

Winry placed Ed on the table then went into the kitchen for a few minutes. She came back out with a sandwich and a knife. She cut off a tiny piece of the sandwich and gave it to Ed.

"What? This is all I get? It's puny!" Ed stared at the piece of sandwich in his hands, which was actually quite big for a person his size.

"Ed your tiny, how much can you eat?" Winry asked, taking a bit of the sandwich. Ed then ate his part in one bite. "I stand corrected," Winry said, giving him a larger piece.

"Where's Al?" Ed asked, once he had finished his piece. Right then Al walked into the room, riding on the back of a cat.

"YES! I am the master of kitties! Here my call!" Al yelled, throwing his arms in the air. "Halt, Mr. Cuddles!" Mr. Cuddles kept on walking. "I said HALT, Mr. Cuddles!" Mr. Cuddles still kept walking. "MR. CUDDLES! NOOO!" Al screamed, as Mr. Cuddles sat down and Al slid off his back.

"Al stop screwing around, you screw around too much," Ed said, walking to the end of the table, trying to find away down.

Winry lowered her head to the table so she was eye level with Ed. "Ahem?" she said, tapping her foot.

"Get out of my face! I can do it myself," Ed said, crossing his arms and pouting.

"Yeah, sure," Winry sighed, picking him up against his will again. He placed Ed next to Al on the floor.

"Nii-san!" Al said happily, hugging Ed.

"Ah! Al, I'm loosing oxygen!" Ed said, scrambling to get out of Al's arms.

After Al had let go and Ed had regained his oxygen, Ed looked up at Winry who was sitting on the couch, polishing her wrench, and got an evil idea.

Ed climbed up on the back of the couch, and ran over to behind Winry's shoulder. Winry was holding her wrench like a baby and muttering to it. "I love you, Mr. Wrench. You're my only friend. You know why? Cause you understand me. Yes, and your very pretty and shiny too…"

Ed ignored Winry's disturbing mutterings, and whispered in her ear, "Winry… Winry…"

"Ah! What's who saying that?" Winry said, looking around and hugging her wrench close.

"This is your Conscience speaking," Ed whispered.

"My what?"

"YOUR FUCKING CONSCIENCE, DAMN IT!"

"Uh... ok…"

"You have been doing some bad things haven't you, Winry?"

"Yes…"

"Do you wish you wouldn't have done those things?"

"Yes…"

"Good… and never hit Edward with a wrench ever again."

"What? Screw you, Conscience," Winry said, getting up off the couch and walking off somewhere.

"Shit, I was so close…" Ed said, snapping his fingers. He jumped down onto the couch seat and sat at the very edge.

"EW! I found a bowl of pudding that has been left in the basement for a year, thrown up on by a cat, peed on by Den, run over by a unicycle then put in a new bowl that was used as a bed pan so there's glass shards in it, then spit in twice," Winry said, coming back into the room with a bowl of something that's smelled terrible.

"And how do you know this?" Al asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Winry asked, setting down the bowl under Ed's tiny legs that where dangling over the couch.

"Ha…" Ed put his hand in front of his face, "Ha… CHOO!" Ed sneezed, but it came out very cute and tiny because he was so small. Then he fell into the bowl of pudding that has been left in the basement for a year, thrown up on by a cat, peed on by Den, run over by a unicycle then put in a new bowl that was used as a bed pan so there's glass shards in it, then spit in twice.

"ACK! YUCK!" Ed spat, scrambling around in the bowl of pudding that has been left in the basement for a year, thrown up on by a cat, peed on by Den, run over by a unicycle then put in a new bowl that was used as a bed pan so there's glass shards in it, then spit in twice, trying to get out.

"Oh yeah I forgot there's rotten milk in there too."

"WHAT?" Ed screamed, scrambling out of the bowl.

A few minutes later 

"I'm not going to do it!"

"Ed you have to! You fell in the bowl of pudding that has been left in the basement for a year, thrown up on by a cat, peed on by Den, run over by a unicycle then put in a new bowl that was used as a bed pan so there's glass shards in it, then spit in twice, and also contains rotten milk, and your disgusting and smelly," Winry said, trying to get Ed to take a bath in the sink that was filled with about 1.5 inches of water and soap.

"Fine! But you can't look!" Ed said, blushing.

"Well of course!" Winry said, blushing too. Then she walked over to the other side of the kitchen to start dinner.

Ed took off his clothes (**A/N: Yeah, yeah stop drooling…**) and got into the sink. _I wonder how long it's been since we were turned small… _he thought as he began washing himself.

And just as he thought that, Michael Jackson appeared again! "Times up! Hee, hee!" He sang. Then he turned Ed and Al normal sized again.

Before Michael Jackson disappeared again, Al ran into the kitchen. "Why did you make us small, Mr. Jackson?"

"Just for giggles! Hee, hee!" Then he disappeared again.

"Yay, Brother! We're big again!" Al yelled happily.

Nobody had noticed yet, but Ed had previously been taking a bath in the sink, naked, so now he was sitting in the sink… naked.

"AHH! ED, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" Winry screamed at Ed, taking out about 40 wrenches and throwing all of them at him.

**Wow. That was probably the sanest one I've written. It actually slightly had a… plot. Ooo, that's a new concept for me! Get the dictionary!**

**About the "Al stop screwing around, you screw around too much." I just watched that episode of South Park where there is that teacher that says that, and it makes me laugh so I put it in!**

**I haven't been asking you to review lately! I know some of you review anyway, but I feel obligated to remind you. So…**

FUCKING REVIEW, DAMN IT! 


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